Dear Lu,

From reading your post, it seems your weight gain is completely normal.  You mentioned you were significantly underweight.  Your body is designed to put on weight this way, after restricting.  Jean has said before that the amount of weight one will gain depends on the severity of the famine (diet) prior to starting NT.  So if you were significantly underweight, your body is having a perfectly normal reaction to the good food supply you are providing it.  This is part of the process that your body must be in charge of, not you.  There is no reason to doubt that your body won’t do things correctly, resulting in you leveling off (in your body’s timing) at your naturally thin weight. 

You will most likely “overshoot” your natural weight; I did. But with patience and continuing to do what you know you should do, your weight will level off.  You have 3 months in, and for me that was the worst part, that initial gain and feeling huge, and not knowing who you are anymore when you look in the mirror!  I know I had a mini identity crisis, wondering what happened to that thin girl, and not feeling like “me” anymore.  I would think “who am I?”  But there was something in me that knew to stick it out, to wait for that light at the end of the tunnel.  I had a lot of doubts if I was doing things right, but I kept on reading, but more than reading, make sure you are actually applying the principles, and not letting any dieting thoughts have the upper hand. (it sounds like you are applying the principles, but be sure to stay diligent.) 

Lu, I couldn’t believe how much I ate in the beginning—and longer than just 3 months!  It was hard for me to schedule appointments, run errands and such in the mornings, because I needed to obey my hunger so frequently that it seemed eating was all I ever did.  It seemed I had to schedule morning things around my eating!  And sometimes I still feel this way!  I still think I eat a lot of food (not as much as in the beginning) but since my weight has leveled off I know this is the mark of a good metabolism, and I love that I can eat when I need to and actually feel good about it, because I am taking care of my body the right way.

We can all understand your panic.  Once the points Jean made in her books from a physiological standpoint made sense to me, I was able to assure myself my body would take care of things, that it was not defective.  If I did not gain any weight initially, then I would be suspicious that something wasn’t right.

I had those same thought as you have.  In my earlier years (in my 20’s) I had been as low as 109 lbs, so I thought what if I gain 100 lbs on NT?  I did not.  But if I did, I knew I wouldn’t stay there, that it would not be my natural weight.  If I had gained 100 lbs, it would be temporary, and I knew that. 

It will get easier, things will get better, you will feel better, and you can put your weight problems behind you if you don’t give up. 

Lu, I went in to this saying I will give my body all the time it needs to get naturally thin.  Don’t set time limits, don’t compare yourself to anyone else.  You have already started.  It looks like you got a real good start.  Keep at it.  We are here for you.

Swan

You are such an encourager, Swan.  THANK YOU!

You are patient and say, over and over, to each one of us just what we need to hear. 

Munch

Dear Swan,

Thank you. That was exactly what I needed to hear!

Can I maybe trouble you for some more advice? Jean says that support is really important when trying to do the NT program and so I thought that my Mum would be the best person to give me that. Unfortunately, she read the book and told me that she ‘doesn’t agree with a lot of it’ and thought it was ‘wacky’. She says many unhelpful comments like ‘are you really hungry AGAIN’ or ‘do you need to eat that or are you just bored’... it really sends me into a panic because it makes me question whether I AM doing the right thing… or if I should just restrict again. I can feel myself start to get embarrassed about my hunger and I think these last few days I have been leaving off my hunger for too long because I am conscious that I only ate an hour ago.

This is SO hard! Did you have anyone comment on the amount that you were eating? Did you ever question that you were doing the right thing? What things did you do to combat the absolute panic associated with weight gain?

Lu

Hey Lu!

Do not despair.  As Jean said in the books, your body knows what it’s doing.  I got pretty much the same response from my husband (and he didn’t even read the book!) and I realized that I wasn’t going to get support from people who didn’t understand or agree with the principles.  And since most people are still believing the diet lies we’ve been told for decades, there’s not a ton of help out there.  I say stick with Swan for support!  She’ll help keep your chins up!

I have reminded myself that there are lots of overweight people in this world, and the world didn’t stop turning because they’re not skinny.  And if I was overweight for a time while my body adjusted, the world won’t stop turning for me, either.  Life goes on regardless of your pants size.

Onward, girlfriend!  Smile sweetly at your mother and do what you’re supposed to be doing regardless of her remarks.  (This part will get easier, too.)

: )

Lu,
As for your mother, I believe she only wants what’s best for you and because she sees you eating more frequently, and more quantity, and because she doesn’t grasp the NT concepts, in her own way, she is trying to help you by wanting you to not eat so much. She thinks she is keeping you out of danger by using these words of caution, like any good mother would. I imagine she is still of the belief that eating makes one fat.  Love her for wanting to help you, and for doing what she thinks is best.  I once believed exactly as she did, but I do not share her beliefs anymore. 

I was just thinking about the beliefs I used to have, the old “eat less, exercise more” myth, in order to lose weight.  I’m sure everyone here used to buy into that flawed theory.  I know I fell for it hook, line, and sinker. I had a Mom who was a repeat Weight Watcher, I think 3 times.  Everyone who diets subscribes to this theory.  Then I got to thinking about some people I know personally.  I was counting this morning, and I know of 4 women who were all Physical Education majors who taught Phys. Ed. in school.  Now they all range in age from 55-75.  All were trained in “fitness.”  All are now obese.  What does this tell me?  That maybe the theory they have subscribed to all these years is flawed?  I would imagine they all tried to “practice what they preached.”  I know for a fact 2 of these women had the Atkins diet book practically memorized. Now I don’t know about you, but this wonderful (sarcasm) eat less, exercise more theory does not seem very credible when the people who are trained this way are now obese.  Something is very wrong with this picture.  I would not take diet/fitness advice off any of them, nor off Oprah or her trainer, or Kirstie Alley, or any other celebrity who has endorsed dieting.  Just look at them!  Sadly, many people would gladly spend all kinds of cash for the next diet craze, no matter who endorsed it.  Know how much I paid for Jean’s first book?  Five measly bucks!  Best money I ever spent!

Lu, I never questioned the NT principles themselves,but I did often wonder if I was doing it right in the beginning.  I tried very hard not to “famine” so I may have overate a little at times, but I knew how dangerous famining was, and I did not want to chance going back on the F or F cycle.  As I am a wife and mother, my husband was at work when I did a lot of my “make-up” eating, but he knew I had read the books and knew I had stopped dieting.  He is a dream of a husband, never said I was fat, never made a negative comment.  My daughter started eating the NT way with me, back when she was 16.  So we would both go to the grocery store and load up on food, lots of bread and bagels, and we would buy 4 jars of natural peanut butter at a time.  Our grocery cart would look ridiculously gluttonous to others, but we had faith in what we were doing.  Our tastes in food have evolved and we are now eating a wide variety of foods, including fruits and vegetables, meats, cheeses, nuts, whole grains, and although we still eat a lot, our appetites have simmered down since then.  Yours will too.

There were times I was a bit uneasy about being in front of people with my added weight, who had always known me as being thin.  I majored in Fashion Merchandising in college, so I always liked to “look the part” and look good in my clothing.  After I gained, I figured people were whispering “wow—she has really let herself go.”  At least that’s what I imagined.  But they probably had enough insecurities of their own and didn’t give a hoot about me!  I remember being at my class reunion one year and I was a size 4 (from dieting).  Well, between that reunion and the next, I had started Naturally Thin.  I am a class reunion maniac, so wild horses couldn’t keep me away from one.  I had even offered to be in charge of the next reunion, and was really hesitant about starting NT at this point, knowing full well I wasn’t going to be a size 4 at the next reunion.  Being the one in charge, I would have to stand in front of everyone, make some announcements, and couldn’t really hide.  So I thought, I may be a lot heavier at this next reunion, but I won’t be staying that way.  My classmates will see me heavier THIS ONE TIME, and because I will stay dedicated to eating the NT way, I will most likely be at my naturally thin weight at the reunion after this one.  I went to that reunion heavier, kept my chin up, smiled a lot as I wanted to give off that air of confidence, and noticed many heavier people than me!  I was a size 14 then, but I think we all have issues and I can’t imagine any classmate coming up to me and saying, hey, aren’t you a 14 when you used to be a 4?  It was something I definitely had to deal with in my head, but in comparison to dealing with an eating disorder for the rest of my life, or being at war with my body over food, it wasn’t nearly as bad.  I knew I was in recovery.  I was already eating like a naturally thin person would.  And that’s what you are doing Lu.  When you eat, even if it is as frequent as every hour, you are in fact eating like a naturally thin person, because you are eating by obeying your body’s hunger signals, instead of obeying when your mother thinks you should eat, or that little dieter’s voice in your head. Obey your hunger signals only—that is why you have them!  Eat enough for your body to signal you’ve had enough, not your Mom, and not that little dieter’s voice in your head.  If you want a second or third helping because your body says it is still hungry, obey your body.  Only take orders from your body.

When I thought no one else in my life knew what I was going through, as they all still believed in the good ole dieting myth, I would turn to Jean’s books quite often.  My books are all marked up, highlighted, underlined, and I even printed out things on this forum I thought were very helpful, as reminders to me.

Hi Lu,
Because Jean says to get support, I have been seeking it, too.  I just re-read everything she wrote about support that I could find.  Even though I have only been applying the principles of NT as well as I have been able to for a little over one month now and don’t consider myself qualified to offer advice, I do empathize and I can share how this is unfolding for me.  I, too, have questioned whether I am doing it right.  I have felt panic associated with weight gain.  For these reasons, I keep re-reading sections of the books… like the sections about support.  I know how valuable support can be, and I know I need it, so I am giving it to myself by continuing to read and by asking for it from others whom I respect and who respect me and who have an open mind about the ideas in the book.  I have a couple of friends who are supporting me even though they don’t “get” NT, but they respect me and my right to choose what and when I eat for whatever reasons I make those choices.  There are others in my life who have made unhelpful remarks that have triggered questions and doubts and reactions from me (like my delaying eating when my body signaled and then getting excessively hungry as a result when I was around them to avoid their remarks).  I recognize how that reaction triggered the F-F cycle and I learned from that experience.
 
I am sorry that you have been questioning whether you are doing the right thing and feeling panic about weight gain, but you are not alone in that.  I have, too.  That is why I keep reading and seeking support.  I am so thankful for the support I have found here on this website.  I have found information and compassion and reassurance that I couldn’t give myself here.  Today I am not questioning whether I am doing the right thing and right now I am free of the panic I was feeling yesterday associated with the apparent weight gain (I don’t have a bathroom scale, so I haven’t been weighting myself).  I hope your questions and panicky feelings have subsided as you receive the support that those who have more experience with and confidence in applying the NT principles have offered.

Many blessings!
Ela

Thank you everyone. Thanks Swan. I appreciate the encouragement!

I know I’m doing the right thing. I think really, I can’t go back now… my body won’t let me and I wouldn’t stand in its way of making me healthy.

Lu

Ela,
Just because you are new here, doesn’t mean you cannot offer ideas based on what is/is not working for you.  We learn from each other.  And if you are off track in something you say, someone will try to redirect you back to the NT principles.  That’s how we learn and solidify the concepts more fully!

I’m not a “success story” yet, but I’m keeping at it…our day will come when we can be like Swan and share the ups and downs that got us to success!  Hang in there!

Munch

Thanks, MUNCH, for the feedback and the encouragement.  I was able to apply the NT principles yesterday and so far today.  The pants I wore yesterday were still a little baggy.  They were so tight last summer.  Maybe they are just stretched out, but whatever, I wasn’t so freaked out about the apparent weight gain even though my abdomen seems to be all bloated looks like a pregnant belly.  I think I need to re-read the chapter “Breaking Free to a New Body Image” in BOOFJ and apply one or more of the “Body Image Coping Tactics”.  That whole body image issue seems to trigger the impulse to ignore hunger signals!  What has helped you to cope with body image?

Many blessings!
Ela

Hi Ela,
The body image stuff is pretty tough right now.  I avoid mirrors as much as possible, knowing they will only discourage me and I know it is only temporary that I will look like this.

I do not have the advantage of height - 5’3” on a good day - so the pounds don’t have very far to go!

We went camping this weekend - the camper next to us was a buff young man.  He came over and hung out with us for awhile.  I was very conscious of my weight as I sat there…

One strategy I’m trying to do is to keep my core stomach muscles strong.  I do stomach crunches daily.  That way I can at least work on holding my stomach in and trying to support my back.

Just hang in there and know, this, too shall pass.

Munch

Hi Munch,

Thank you for reading what I wrote and responding.  I appreciate hearing how you are dealing with the body image issues.  When I had some free time yesterday, I reviewed the “Breaking Free to a New Body Image” chapter in BOOFJ.  One of the tactics is to avoid looking in full length mirrors (#7), and it sounds like you are implementing that one.  Looking in full length mirrors (store windows, too) is an ingrained habit for me which may take some real focus to break.  Tactic #2 is one I can be used right now or anytime.  I have used it once before, but I used it again yesterday.  My body can do many things which I appreciate and it is wonderful to remember that when I have slipped into thinking of it only in regards to appearance/size/shape.  I also did the exercise at the end of the chapter on page 166 designed to help find my little place in the big scheme of things.  I laughed when I came to the part:  “How thin are you now?  Who cares?”  The protruding belly just didn’t seem like such a big deal after that.
 
I am thankful that I had already dealt with getting rid of the bathroom scale, and that NT supports that because some weight loss programs actually suggest weighing everyday.  Jean only recommended weighing if medically necessary.  I hadn’t weighed in about two years when someone I respected suggested that I weigh once a month before I started NT.  So I have been weighing once a month, but made a decision to skip this month at least since it is my time of the month to weigh.  I intend to re-consider next month if it comes to mind.  Maybe by then it will be a non-issue.  I’ve been weighing at a community center I drive by every week, so whenever I drive by, I think of it.  I feel a little sad and a little relieved when I don’t.

I am surely ready and willing to break free to a new body image and I sure need support in doing so.  Thanks again for your feedback and encouragement… for sharing what is working for you.
 
Many blessings!
Ela

Hey Ela!

I am also at a place where the mirror is not my friend!! But I realized that mirrors enslave us to vanity and other than making sure your clothes are on straight and your mascara isn’t smudged, they’re pretty useless.  Same thing with the scale.  If it makes you feel bad, ditch it.  Life is about far more than our bodies, so get out there and live!

And about the hunky guy at the campground…when you’re with other people, unless they’re really distinctive (super tall, really petite, whatever) do you pay much attention to their appearance after the first 30 seconds?  Or do you pay more attention to what they’re saying and doing?  They’re probably doing that with you, too.  No one is staring at you wondering why you look the way you do.

I like to say I have a perfect body.  I have all the right parts in all the right places and they all work.

Onward!!

annual

Good perspective, Annual.  Thanks for sharing and encouraging us!

Munch

Thanks, ANNUAL, I appreciate the feedback and encouragement, also!  I will re-read your post if the body blues try to take control of my thoughts again.